Author Topic: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!! (clean jokes only please)  (Read 234726 times)

steve.uk

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2007, 02:20:31 pm »
I apologise in advance for these: -

Did you hear adout the party on the moon?

There was no atmosphere.

Did you hear about the party on a neutron star?

It was packed.

Did you hear about the party in a black hole?

Me neither.

Alice

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2007, 03:37:44 pm »
Not very scientific - but only funny if you know some science . . .

There was a young curate of Kew
Who kept a tom cat in a pew.
He taught it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But never got further than ยต.

 ;D

(Anyone else here LOVE cats?)

degroof

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2007, 03:56:25 pm »
I'd like to thank everyone here for their restraint in not posting any puns related to the seventh planet, the name of which escapes me at the moment.  :D

ElisabethB

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2007, 04:12:58 pm »
I've been wondering about that too.

Big_Bill_Robinson

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2007, 04:30:12 pm »
A neutron walks into a bar, orders a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps. The barman gives them to him, and the neutron is sitting there waiting to pay, but the barman says nothing.

Eventually the neutron gets fed up waiting, and says "OK, how much is that then?"

"For you" says the barman "there's no charge". 
We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.

Alice

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #20 on: August 08, 2007, 05:03:46 pm »
OMG Big_Bill_Robinson that is AWFUL. Congratulations!

Sorry, those thanking everyone for restraint, but you're just asking for it:

"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry . . ."
Seamus and Dean, who were working nearby, sniggered loudly, though not loudly enough to mask the excited squeals from Lavender Brown - "Oh, Professor, look! I think I've got an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?" said Ron.
Most unfortunately, Professor Trelawney heard him, and it was this, perhaps, which made her give them so much homework at the end of the class.
"A detailed analysis of the way the planetary movements in the coming month will affect you, with reference to your personal chart," she snapped, sounding much more like Professor McGonagall than her airy-fairy self. "I want it ready to hand in next Monday, and no excuses!"

(Sorry, WAY off track there. Should have checked my stars to see how likely I am to get sacked in August.)

Anyone else had a good laugh on www.brianmay.com the other day when one of the tabloids announced that he had finished his PhD in Astrology?!?  ;D

Infinity

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2007, 05:09:43 pm »
Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon, but they left after a few minutes ?

You see, it had no atmosphere !

Alice

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2007, 06:08:19 pm »
They obviously weren't lunar tics.  ;)

Tanksdaddy

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2007, 06:13:35 pm »
My dog has those....gives him a fit at every full moon. Figures...i named him after a Viking Knight...Wulfgar.
Aunty Em...hate you, hate Kansas, Taking the dog...Dorothy

Pharun

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2007, 07:26:43 pm »
Heres one my brother told me, not really astronomy but still funny.

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...
My Science/Technology Blog: www.chrisstevens.wordpress.com

Hanny

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2007, 08:26:48 pm »
Hahaha, you guys are sooo not funny, that it actualy really IS funny  :D
Do we all have the same humor 'round here too ?! :P

Okay, here's one I heard ones (also, awful, but not astronomical ;D )

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
..............................................................................

Hanny

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #26 on: August 08, 2007, 08:28:06 pm »
A: well, a piece of wood...  ::)

Infinity

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #27 on: August 08, 2007, 09:24:39 pm »
Q. How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
A. You Rocket!

Tanksdaddy

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #28 on: August 08, 2007, 10:42:59 pm »
Funny...if you do the same thing to a Geologist's kid you go to jail!
Aunty Em...hate you, hate Kansas, Taking the dog...Dorothy

fjgiie

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Re: Astronomically Awful Jokes!!!!!
« Reply #29 on: August 08, 2007, 11:08:08 pm »
I'd like to thank everyone here for their restraint in not posting any puns related to the seventh planet, the name of which escapes me at the moment.  :D

I'm dying here to know what you are talking about! When are you going to let it leak out? What's funny about Pluto anyway.